How to Stop Your Negative Self-Talk from Running the Show

This Week We’re Talking About Mindset 💭

Most women I know have a voice in their heads that never shuts up.

It comments on everything.

It criticizes.

It compares.

It tells us we are behind, not enough, not doing it right.

That inner critic might sound familiar because it probably started as someone else’s voice. A parent. A teacher. An ex. A boss. A society that told you who you were allowed to be. Over time, we internalized those voices until they became our own.

But that voice is not truth. It is conditioning. And it’s keeping you stuck.

This week we are talking about how to stop your negative self-talk from running the show and how to start building a more supportive internal relationship with yourself.

Why Negative Self-Talk Feels So Loud

Your brain has one job: to keep you safe. It believes that criticizing you will protect you from judgment, failure, or rejection. It is a survival mechanism, not a reflection of your worth.

The problem is, that voice does not know the difference between protection and sabotage. It confuses self-preservation with self-punishment.

When you live with a constantly critical inner dialogue, your nervous system stays in a low-level state of fight-or-flight. You feel drained, indecisive, and anxious, even when nothing is “wrong.”

How to Start Changing the Voice

You cannot silence the inner critic overnight, but you can stop believing it.

1. Notice it.

Start by observing the tone and words your mind uses when you talk to yourself. Just notice. Awareness is the first step to change.

2. Name it.

Give your inner critic a name or an identity that helps you create distance. “That’s not me, that’s The Judge.” It helps you step into observer mode.

3. Question it.

When the thought comes, ask: “Is that true? Is that helpful?” Most of the time, it is neither.

4. Replace it with reality.

Try softer truths. “I’m learning.” “I’m trying.” “This matters to me.” “I deserve patience.”

5. Talk to yourself like someone you love.

You would never speak to your child, best friend, or partner the way you sometimes speak to yourself. Offer yourself the same compassion you give others.

Why It Matters

When your inner voice becomes kinder, your choices shift. You begin to eat differently, work differently, parent differently, love differently. You stop waiting to be “fixed” before you are allowed to feel proud.

A supportive mindset doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine. It means learning to walk with your imperfections instead of letting them define you.

A Gentle Reminder 🌸

You are not your thoughts. You are the awareness that hears them.

Every time you interrupt a negative pattern, you are rewiring your brain for safety, trust, and self-compassion. It takes practice. It takes grace. But it changes everything.

Mantra: I am doing the best I can with what I know.