The Guilt Trap & Your Holiday Mindset

This Week We’re Talking About Mindset.

We all know that feeling: the chest-tightening urge to do something when you finally sit down. This feeling is intensified right now. Why? Because if you’re a mama you're not just juggling a job and kids; you're expected to be a Holiday Magic Maker. This week, we're talking about the silent obstacle that trips up every overwhelmed working mom, especially during the holidays: Guilt.

Mindset is More Than Eggnog and Cheer

Your mindset is the foundation for everything. It’s the stories you inherited, the patterns wired into your nervous system, and the beliefs that dictate your daily choices.

The #1 mindset block I see? Guilt. It flares up when you try to carve out time for yourself, especially when the holiday pressure is on.

Why Holiday Guilt is Fierce

This guilt is not a personal failure; it's cultural conditioning hitting the motherhood accelerator,backed by centuries of impossible holiday expectations.

The Cultural Story: We carry generations of conditioning that whisper, "You are only good when you are useful," now amplified by the belief that a good mother must create a perfect holiday. The guilt whispers: "You're behind on the decorating," or "You're trading Christmas cookie baking for a work call."

The Nervous System Response: Your body has learned to associate rest with

"laziness" or "selfishness." When you pause for even five minutes, that tight chest, the racing thoughts, the frantic urge to check your list, that's your nervous system

flagging rest as danger. It believes it's unsafe to slow down while the holiday clock is ticking.

The Truth About Endless Holiday Sacrifice

Endless sacrifice does not make you a better mother or a better leader. It just leaves you exhausted, depleted, and more likely to snap at your family over a tangled strand of lights.

• What your family actually needs is your presence, not your exhaustion. They need a calm, grounded you more than a perfect, Pinterest-worthy holiday. We have a tiny tree this year, and we’re staying home. That’s ok.

  
  

• You are modeling self-respect. When you care for yourself, you show your children that health and limits matter, even when the world demands you be "on." Your care is a ripple effect that calms the holiday chaos.

3 Simple Shifts to Start Right Now

You don't need a holiday cruise. Although we love cruising, and I think it’s one of the best ways to vacation with kids. You can start shifting this guilt gently, today, in the pockets of your chaotic life.

1. Micro-Pause Anchor: Sit down for two minutes right now. Close your eyes, notice your breath, and let your body know: stillness is safe.
   

2. Redefine Holiday Motherhood: Write down one sentence about the kind of holiday mother/woman you choose to be. Make sure it includes your needs. (e.g., "I am a loving mother who embraces simple, joyful traditions and prioritizes my own peace this season.")
   

3. The Guilt Disruptor: When guilt arrives, especially after choosing work over a holiday activity, place a hand on your heart and say this phrase: "This is what healing feels like. Guilt is just the echo of an old, impossible holiday story."

A Gentle Reminder: Your Care is Essential 💛

The next time that familiar guilt shows up, maybe it's when you're ordering pre-made food instead of cooking or baking, or choosing a deadline over a decorating session—pause. Place a hand on your heart. Soften into this truth: Your care is not selfish. It is essential. This is not about abandoning the people you love or the holidays; it is about remembering that you are one of them.

Keep Going: Your Guide to Feeling Human Again This Season

I know it feels impossible to focus on yourself when you’re spinning ten holiday plates and the clock is winding down. But here’s the secret: We can choose not to suffer. We can choose to tend to ourselves even when the holiday expectations feel overwhelming. Drink your water, eat your meals on schedule, take a walk.

That’s why I created the Healthy, Happy Strategies Guide. It’s not another overwhelming checklist; it’s a simple reminder of the basics that actually support you when life is too much:

• Stress Management Techniques you can use before the holiday dinner begins.

• Simple Boundaries and Self-Care routines that actually stick (even during the travel rush).

• Mindfulness and Movement you can squeeze into a 5-minute coffee break. Think of it as a gentle nudge. You don’t have to do everything, but you can always do something for yourself.

Download your free copy here and let it remind you that wellness can be simple, and you are allowed to feel good, even during the most chaotic season.

Get Your Guide